Over And Over
by VioVayo
Summary: "If you are told the same lies over and over, you slowly start believing them." The unhappy stories of two equally skilled twin brothers - Red and Fire
1. The Fire Side

Heya, I guess it's time for me to finally contribute to the fandom. Yeah, I hope I can get my beta to look at this...like, next week or so. This is probably going to end up as a two-shot. Not sure yet.

There has been some confusion, so I'm going to repeat that Fire is not an OC of mine. I'm just one of those rare people who see FR/LG!Red as a different person.

Fire needs more love!

* * *

Ever since they were babies, it had always been the two of them, together. It had always been his brother and him, _Red and Fire_.

"What's your name?"

No, it was always Red. Just Red.

Unlike him, his brother didn't speak much. In fact, when it wasn't to a person close to him, he didn't speak at all. Fire found it quite ironic that silent little Red would become everyone's favourite. Even back when the both of them were small children, much too young to be trainers or anything of the sort, and the shy little boy did everything he could to make himself as unnoticeable as possible, he always got all the attention. And even though Fire was always by his brother's side, he felt more like a shadow than a part of the family.

He had always dreamt of making a name for himself in the competitive battling scene, of becoming the Kanto champion and maybe even the best trainer in the world. Their mother often spoke of how high her hopes for her two sons were. "You two do your best!" and "Win all the badges when you start your journeys, okay?" was what she would always say.

But it was never him she looked at in those moments. It was Red. _Always Red._ Fire could understand it as little back then as he can now. Red didn't even want to become a trainer, much less the strongest there ever was! If it were for him to decide, he'd probably live his life locked up in his room and reading books rather than exploring the region.

Nobody cared about that, however. Everyone in Pallet expected Red to become the very best, while Fire wasn't even spared a single glance.

It made him wonder if they even knew his name.

…

Red decided to start training Pokémon. He had come to his brother one day, nearly breaking into tears as he made his confession, and apologised over and over. Fire had told him that it was okay and that he wasn't mad at him, but he still couldn't keep the anger from rising inside him.

The day where they both had to pick their starter Pokémon before being sent off into the wild came soon. Fire had grimaced slightly as Red was given a Pikachu by the one and only professor Samuel Oak himself. Of course his brother received special treatment. Red didn't even want to be here, and yet the whole town was gathered to see their choices and send them off on their journeys.

Or rather, to send Red off on his journey.

"Become a champion like none before you!"

"We know you can do it, Red!"

Fire thought he was going to be sick. Did the people here even know of his existence? Even their mother was only paying attention to Red. He hated it! Fire knew, however, that Red was just as much a victim in this situation as he was, the expectations of all the people around him forcing him into a role he didn't want to play. His hate was not, _could not_ be directed at his brother.

The boy with the reddish-brown hair grit his teeth and quietly reached for the pokéball containing a Charmander.

…

Red was good with Pokémon. He won his first battle against Green's Eevee with ease, despite never having battled before. It didn't take him long to bond with his Pikachu and by the time they left Pallet, the Pokémon and trainer had already become inseparable. It seemed like he had discovered his passion for Pokémon battles, and a lot of talent.

They travelled together and both took on the eight gym leaders of the Kanto region. Red would always go first, with Fire earning his own badge the next day. He sort of hoped that here, where nobody knew of Red and him yet, he could finally show that he was just as skilled as his brother. The gym battles weren't really challenging to either of them and they both easily defeated every opponent they faced.

Soon, word about them spread. Fire was able to overhear the conversation of a couple seated near them in the Pokémon Centre his brother and he had agreed on staying at for the night. A conversation about this one trainer who would surely rise to fame – the prodigy, Red – and his shadow, that guy who always followed him around.

Fire hadn't spoken a word that evening. He had simply gone to bed, ignoring the worried glances his brother sent him.

…

_He_ had beaten Team Rocket. He alone. Without his brother's help.

They had, by sheer coincidence, been in town just as Silph CO. was being taken over, and since Fire knew Red was very much capable of taking care of himself, he decided to run off and explore on his own.

Every Rocket Grunt he came across fell before him and his Pokémon. He successfully saved Silph CO. and the masterball from the criminal mastermind Giovanni and thought that maybe this was it, just what he needed to finally be recognised for something other than being Red's twin brother. By the next day, his feat was already all over the media. Everyone talked about how 'this one red-eyed kid' had single-handedly stopped the Rocket takeover in Saffron. Their mother even called to tell them how impressed she was.

"See? I knew you were going to be great, Red."

It was that moment and those words that made Fire realise that he would never get the recognition he deserved, that Red would always be there to cast his shadow over him. Because people had expectations of him and he couldn't disappoint them. Fire hated it. But it wasn't Red's fault. Red was just as trapped as he was, the weight of everyone's hopes pressing down on him, slowly suffocating him.

Fire forced a smile and decided to play along, before his brother could say anything.

"I know, right? I'm so proud of him, too!"

…

There could only be one champion.

They were two.

Had it been anyone else, Fire would have battled it out, but he and Red were so evenly matched that each and every one of their efforts to beat each other ended with a double knock-out. One of them had to give up.

"You're going to do just fine, Red. I can't come with you, you have to go alone, but you'll manage, right?"

Fire's words came as a visible shock to his brother. After all, he had always been the one with the dream to become champion, not Red. But Red couldn't just go home and tell everyone that he had given up on becoming the very best and let Fire have the title, even though he really wanted to. They both knew that. Red had to live up to a whole region's expectations while Fire wouldn't disappoint anyone.

As Red approached the door that would lead him to the first of the Elite Four, he was unusually tense. He wasn't scared. The Elite Four were the strongest trainers in the region, but Red would still definitely win. That was a fact, Fire decided.

"_Do you hate me?_"

This time it was the black-haired boy's brother's turn not to speak. Red did this because he had to, not because he wanted.

…

Fire left the moment the door closed behind his brother. There was no need for him to stay and wait, since it was pretty much clear what was going to happen. Red could probably sleepwalk through there and still come out victorious. He was going to be champion and Fire was finally going to be free.

He boarded the next plane to Sinnoh, wanting to explore a region far away, a place where nobody would address him with his brother's name. He hadn't set foot on Kanto again since then, even though he still kept in contact with his friends and sometimes even his mother.

A few weeks after him leaving his home region, he received a phone call from Green, who told him about how Red had beaten him for the title, only to give it up again right after being entered into the Hall of Fame. Apparently, he had isolated himself on Mt. Silver after that, now refusing to come back down.

Fire suddenly felt bitter. He couldn't shake the feeling that crept up on him, the feeling that it was all his fault for abandoning his brother like he had. He felt guilty about leaving without a single word, right when Red probably needed him most.

But he couldn't convince himself to turn around and go back home, so he asked, no, _begged_ Green to _please make sure he stays alive!_ And he hated it! Because he couldn't stop caring about _Red_. It was always about _Red_.

"What's your name?"

They had always been Red. He had always been nothing more than a cheap copy of his brother.

"It's Fire."

Sometimes Fire looks back and wonders if he had unknowingly hated his brother all those years, after all.


	2. The Red Side

Whooo~  
Now Red has a chapter too! He totally deserves his own chapter! Here's some (sorta kinda very) insecure!Red for you all! There's also a mention of the Green's dead Raticate Pasta. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. *hides under nearest table*

Please excuse my terrible writing. I'm not going to lie, this chappie here felt kind of forced and had to be revised many times.  
Also, reviews would still be very much appreciated. If you guys want, I might even write another chapter for Green, even though this fic is theoretically completed now. (Depending on my mood and my muse I might do that even if you don't want me to.)

* * *

Red was lonely.

Sometimes it was bearable. He had his Pokémon by his side, after all. They would always be there to keep him company and take care of him. Other times, though, he felt so alone that it physically hurt. On those nightmare-filled nights, he would curl up somewhere in the back of his cave and silently cry.

Green visited regularly. Whenever he was there, Red would feel slightly better. He would make sure that Red still had enough supplies and bring new ones if he hadn't. The young champion was sure he would long be dead without him, and he was very grateful.

He never quite understood it, though. Every time the other trainer came by, Red asked himself _why_. It didn't make any sense to him at all, because Red had chosen this fate for himself and Green had every reason to stay away from him.

Red had tried asking Green directly once, but hadn't received an answer that satisfied him. The gym leader only said that he refused to let his best friend starve or freeze to death. _Lies_, the champion thought, _all lies_, because the other trainer wasn't his best friend anymore and he refused to believe that he'd ever want him back. Green knew exactly what had driven the black-haired boy up here in the first place and those words were the cruellest joke Red could think of.

How could it be true? After all the people he had hurt, living the life others planned out for him? He had never wanted to be a trainer, never wanted to be a champion. He had never wanted to face his brother and best friend in battle and destroy all their hopes and dreams.

But he did it anyway. Everyone expected him to, after all. It had to be done, had it not? Red sometimes spent whole weeks trying to come up with an answer that didn't leave him consumed by guilt, but the only thing he could think of was how easy it was to blame others for what he did, and that, in the end, it was all his fault. He could have, no, _should have_ said no where he hadn't, and should have refused to blindly do everything he was told.

But Red was weak. He was too weak to say no, too afraid of disappointing anyone. He wasn't strong enough to think for himself and accepted everything people wanted him to become as his own personal goal, even if it was the exact opposite of what he really wanted. They had all shaped him into what he was now, and he had let it happen.

They took away his brother and he had let them.

Fire…

Fire was different from Red. He was strong. He followed his own ideals and didn't take orders from anyone. Red greatly admired him for it and used to often go to him for advice. The two brothers had always been very close and he considered Fire one of the select few he could actually talk to.

But all that was over now. Fire was gone. After Red had beaten the league, he had searched all of Kanto for his twin brother, but couldn't find him anywhere. Fire had already left. And Red knew why. He had already known long before his brother disappeared, because even strong people are destined to break someday, and Fire had endured for far too long. Red didn't do anything to stop it.

Even though he rejected the title, the whole region celebrated him as the youngest trainer to ever have entered the hall of fame. He didn't feel like anyone worth celebrating at all. Not only had he driven his own brother away from home, but his best friend and rival hated him. _Former_ best friend, he corrected himself, bitter.

There was no way they could still be friends now, after all. Not after everything Red had stolen from Green.

He had taken his title, and with it everything he had worked so hard for. Nobody talked about the guy who couldn't keep the title of champion for a mere ten minutes, even though he had acquired it before Red.

He had taken away his grandfather's love and respect. "Why can't you be more like Red?" the professor would say. Green never replied, but Red could see how much those words affected him because he would always clench his fists and look away to the side.

He had even killed one of his Pokémon, a Raticate, once, and even though everyone, including Green himself, insisted that it was an accident, Red firmly believed that it was solely his fault.

Green and Fire were best friends. Red took that from him, too.

He ran into his mother during the celebrations. She was happy and proud and praised him for how much he had accomplished, seemingly completely unaware that one of her sons had run off to Arceus-knows-where and was now missing. Red excused himself and took off running. He didn't know where to, only that he somehow needed to get far away. Away from all the people he didn't know, away from everyone he did know, away from all his problems and unanswered questions…just far, far away.

He wanted to distance himself from everything for a while, calmly think things over, and then return home. That was how he found his way onto Silver Summit. Nobody disturbed him at the peak of Kanto's most dangerous mountain, so he had a lot of time to think. He thought about everything that had happened to him in the past, and what he planned to do in the future. He wasn't sure.

Not too long after he hid away on Mt. Silver, Green found him. He approached him, irritated, and asked if Red was planning on coming home anytime soon. For a moment the champion thought that things could go back to the way they were before he had started his journey. He could picture their little group of friends, all together and smiling, and was almost about to say _yes_ and go back to Pallet, with Green, but then he saw the bitterness in his former rival's eyes and he remembered that the past couldn't be undone, and that his brother probably wasn't going to come back.

He stayed silent and Green stormed off again. The champion watched him as he descended down the mountain. He looked angry and Red felt another pang of guilt. This was his fault. It was the reason why he was here, why he had to remain here. Green would be much better off at home, without him, and he would stay here. He was too weak to confront his problems directly. He had to stay, because they couldn't reach him here.

But Green came back. He came by every two weeks, carrying new supplies and making sure Red was still alive and healthy. And Red was surprised and didn't understand, but he was still grateful.

_Just like a friend_, he thought to himself every time the gym leader tried to convince him to leave the mountain. But it wasn't, because he was _Red_ and this was _Green_, and Red had been responsible for too much of Green's pain in the past. Even if, through some sort of miracle, Green were to ever forgive him, Red wasn't sure if he'd be able to forgive himself.

"_So, you coming?"_

_Red looked up at the source of the voice that had interrupted his thoughts. It was Green, chocolate-blonde hair and all, grinning at him like he was the happiest man in the world. It was his signature grin, the one Red remembered from back when they were still children, even though it had lost a lot of its original radiance over the years._

_The two boys just stared at each other for a few minutes, neither one of them saying a word, before Green just sighed. He turned around and began his journey back to Viridian, leaving Red behind. Even though he felt lonely, seeing his old rival leave like that every time, he never followed. Because, no matter how real he wanted it to be, after all that had happened, their friendship wasn't anything more than an illusion he hopelessly clung to._

_Red couldn't risk destroying more than he already had. If that meant he had to be lonely, it was what he deserved. He chose this for himself, after all._

Or maybe he was just a coward, scared of facing the people he knew were waiting for him at home, now that he had nobody to hide behind.


End file.
